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For those us who were raised to believe that anything other than monogamy is wrong, even “sinful”, full swap can seem like a giant taboo. Especially for new swingers, full swap can bring certain baggage with it. The emotional impact of full swap will be different for every couple. The first, and probably most important, is the way full swap will impact the relationship between you and your partner. There are a few things that have to be considered before anyone endeavors to full swap. While it can seem scary at first, and a little fear can be both healthy and fun, full swap opens up the swinging world to a larger number of possibilities and increases the likelihood of meeting other sexually open partners. The greatest advantage of full swap is…SEX! Again, it sounds like a simple difference, but it can be huge if having sex with other partners is something you want. On occasion, just saying that you as a couple are only interested in soft swap can dramatically decrease the number other couples who will be interested in playing with you. Many couples have found that there are a good number of others who are simply not interested in soft swap, or at least want to know that full swap is a possibility, even if it doesn’t happen. The limits of soft swap can be more or less of a disadvantage depending on what you and your partner are looking for in the swinging world. There is really only one disadvantage, but it’s kind of a big one- no intercourse with anyone other than your partner. Simply put, the advantages of soft swap are many, including a decreased chance of unwanted pregnancy, a slightly decreased chance of disease, and a possibly decreased chance of jealousy. Nothing ruins a fun night of swinging like hurt feelings or jealousy. Whatever your comfort level, the most important thing is that you and your partner be honest with each other. Some draw the line at petting and are not interested in oral sex.
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Some couples prefer not to kiss others on the mouth. If this is the case, then soft swapping is an ideal solution.Įven once you have established that you only want to soft swap with other couples, it is still important to establish ground rules even within non-intercourse play. For many couples, the idea of their partner kissing and playing with another man or woman is totally erotic, but the idea of their partner having actual intercourse with someone else raises some internal red flag. Whether it is fear of unwanted pregnancy or simply a desire to keep something special that is only for you and your partner to do together, there are many reasons why couples may choose not be full swap, especially in their early days in the lifestyle. The fact is that no matter how sexually open and sex positive you and your partner may be, there will always be lines one or both of you are not comfortable crossing. So, now that we’ve gotten the technical definitions out of the way, what is the real difference between the two, and how do you know what’s right for you and your partner? There are advantages and disadvantages to both and there is no one right answer for every couple. Once penetration comes into play, with anyone other than your partner, it’s considered a “full swap”. Simply put, soft swapping means that there is no actual penetration with outside people. Soft swapping can encompass a wide range of activities, from kissing, to fondling and for some couples, even oral sex with one or more people outside the couple. There is a common misconception among new swingers (as seen on many misinformed message boards and chat rooms) that soft swapping simply means same room sex, where each couple has sex only with their own partner while occupying the same room, or that soft swapping only means female-female play. So what’s the big deal about full versus soft swapping anyway? Even more importantly, how does a couple decide what’s right for them?įirst, we should go over some definitions.
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This question is posed on every swinger networking site and is crucial information for couples seeking other partners for play. At some point, usually early on, every swinger or swinger couple faces the question, “are you full swap or soft swap?”.